So frustrated!! ARGH!!!!

Ok, so I gave my 30 notice yesterday at the duplex that I've lived in for almost 5 years, it was very hard! As much as I think I hate it there sometimes, it's the longest my kids have lived anywhere since they were born and it's the only home Sammie's known. But the rent takes up an entire paycheck leaving me waiting till the mid month paycheck to pay bills, daycare, get food, gas(which isn't cheap when you work in Auburn, have 3 kids at 3 different locations), etc, etc, etc. As of March 5th, I will be off of work and on SDI for about 4 months, for the before and after baby, which everyone knows is a HUGE cut in pay, so I did what I felt is responsible and gave notice at my place(which I've been over $300 short on rent the past 2 months) and I found a few apartments that are very affordable for me, but aren't really convienent for others.
So, here's what's really getting my goat...(what does that really mean??) My mom wants me to try and work something out with my current land lord..>What? I have no idea, rent is due when it's due, not any less or any later than you're allowed, so I don't know what she thinks my landlord can do. I told my Nana today that I found a beautiful new apartment, that's only $1000 a month, yeah it's only 3 bedrooms, but it's what I can afford. I've spent YEARS since being a parent, living where it's convienent for those around me, pretty much staying in Citrus Heights and Orangevale, plus my kids' schools are there. Well, the place I found is income restricted and it's in North Highlands, right on Watt and ElK Horn. The best of areas? Possibly not, but it's not an area I hear on the news nightly nor am I truly a snob who thinks I can't live anywhere that has some bad, have you been to Orangevale? It's no Saint Place!!! When my brother and I were little, we lived in a pretty crappy apartment complex right on Marconi, a lady had her animals take away due to the filth and shit(literally) in her home, 4 feet of garbage! A young mom hung herself while her 4 year old was in the living room, drugs were going around, a woman was raped across the street and nobody called the police, it was not great, but my mom had to do what she had to do and we had a roof over our head.
But now that I'm trying to do for my kids I'm wrong? WTF! Seriously? I can't move out of county that easily due to Bradley's 26.5 services through Sac County nor do I want to do that to him, I can't move out to Elk Grove or South area because it's way too far from Jeff and Alex and my Nana(who watches Sam and will watch Gabby(ie) when she's 3 months old, so I'm stuck! I have to move close-ish to Nana, especially since she doesn't drive freeways and prefers to not drive night time and she's helping me A LOT, so why not? But all she had to say this morning was "Do you know how bad Watt Ave traffic is at 7:30 am?? Or 5:30 pm??" Uh, yeah Nana, I do! I get the lecture about the cats, the moving expenses, really? Come ON!!!(say it like Chris Farley)
I can't do anything to be right, that's how I feel. I may not be correct in feeling that, but it's my feelings, that's all that matters! I'm getting rid of my dog, moving into an apartment, where Anna will still have to share a room, moving into a different school district, etc, etc. I'm doing what I need to in order to survive. Yeah, and applying for Food Stamps next month, and I also get WIC, so call me what you will, but I need the help and my children will not go without. I am just tired of trying to please others and I end up being unhappy. I do for me some times and I'm not naiive to what I don't consider for others, but this time I'm going to be "selfish" and do just for me and my kids. I love this apartment, it's new, it's pretty, the rooms are tiny, but it's ok! I need a couch, dining table, bunk beds for the girls a twin bed for Bradley(he has my old queen bed). I want MY own house. Not some place where someone can come in and dictate to me or my kids about what to do. I want my own furniture, my own life back and something I can be proud of and I'm kinda tired of that being taken from me. So, I'm doing my best~! Sheesh!
I know I'm loved and so are my kids but that doesn't mean I have to be controlled too. Just makes me sad